We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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