Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
