You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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