He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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