Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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