Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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