Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
