Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
