She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
