so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
