thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize