Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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