Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
