Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
