and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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