Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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