Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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