He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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