I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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