6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltš
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said āohh sorryā. Iām still drunk.
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