VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i've created a new STD.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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