Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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