They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
