And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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