I look better un-naked...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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