i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
