new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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