i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
