Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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