Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
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I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
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Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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