How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
