Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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