Heybabeimwearingurpanties
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
