Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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