Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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