I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
