It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
