i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
