It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
