Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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