Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
