its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize