Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
