someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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