nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
