You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
