were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
