how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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