You can't motorboat a personality
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
