I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
