you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
