I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize