Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
