What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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