We named our party play list daddy issues
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize