I just made out with a guy for $7.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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