Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
