that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
