Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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