Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
