That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it's like heaven, but drunker
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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