dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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