5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
