I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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